62 Comments
User's avatar
Ruth Sedar's avatar

Just gotta bleach my eyeballs real quick. That was awesome.

Cedar Jones's avatar

Thank you Ruth. I took a bleach bath after writing it.

The In Between's avatar

Wow this so dark. I think the darkest part is that it feels very viscerally real in a future where men could just AI generate women into submission all day with a prompt. Too near future for me but very well written.

Cedar Jones's avatar

It’s one of my chief concerns in the modern world. Thanks for reading (and for not unsubbing?)

The In Between's avatar

I can take the dark. No unsubs for mes

theinkspilled's avatar

This is actually brilliant, disturbing and horrifying but in the best way possible. I can feel the obsession of this man, I can see the places you described and it’s so vivid and visceral. Brilliant!

Cedar Jones's avatar

Thank you my friend. I certainly needed to go for a long walk after I penned this one.

theinkspilled's avatar

I imagine, brilliant work truly, hope you got some fresh air and some time to recoup!

Ozarklore's avatar

Again the love the prose and how this unfolded. Thanks again.

Cedar Jones's avatar

Thank you for the support, sir. It really does mean the world to me.

Ozarklore's avatar

Sitting here watching you do what you do is a pleasure. Don't change a thing dude. I just have a great feeling about your work. Have a great weekend. Cheers.

Cedar Jones's avatar

I will not change, I swear. The low readership has been a tad disappointing, but I’m trying to look at the long term, not immediate. Thanks Matt

Ozarklore's avatar

What's funny is you just reminded me of Nirvana. Nobody had heard or owned Bleach. Nevermind was certified triple Platinum. Day by day. Day by day.

Cedar Jones's avatar

You’re very kind, amigo. Remind me to send you a free copy of Sons of the Old World this fall.

Ozarklore's avatar

Oh hey. Thanks. Do forget to sign it.

✧ brooklyn 𓆏's avatar

im disgusted! great work!

Cedar Jones's avatar

Whew, one of my favorite people on here liked it. That's a big win, thanks buddy.

Olivia Auxier's avatar

Haunting!! In the best way

Riven 💌's avatar

Okay, woah!! The physical details are so specific they become nauseating, and that makes the emotional points hit even more.

It’s ugly, confrontational, and confident. I really appreciate how far you’re willing to push things in your writing! Phenomenal.

Cedar Jones's avatar

Thanks for getting through it! I know it’s not an easy read, but I think/hope stories like this have a place. Much appreciated, Riven.

Riven 💌's avatar

I definitely agree with you, they do have a place! And you delivered it spectacularly x

Erichka's avatar

This was incredibly well-done. Nasty, repulsive, terrifying, and unfortunately extremely prescient. It’s weird to say “I loved this!” due to the subject matter but what I love about this piece is how sensory and lively your prose is. You have such tremendous talent!

Cedar Jones's avatar

I know this probably sounds trivial when it’s on repeat, but: words of kindness coming from a writer like yourself means so much to me. I did have to take a shower and swirl some mouthwash after penning this, but I’m “glad” it “connected” in the way I’d hoped.

Hannah Torkelson's avatar

Oh! Wow!

Cedar Jones's avatar

I did warn you, Hannah Torkelson!

Ricardo A. Martagón's avatar

Can I just say, the going upstairs to get the crackers made it so so much more worse in a good way 🤢 Loved it, Cedar! 🔥

Saint-Lazare's avatar

Dense, elegant and at the same time deeply unsettling.

Cedar Jones's avatar

Coming from you this means a great deal! Thank you. Thanks for sticking with the piece.

Ed the Editor's avatar

After this I need a shower. Then a bath. Then a good scrubbing. Maybe back to the shower after that.

Such vivid images. Well done.

Cedar Jones's avatar

Thank you very much, Ed. Thanks for making it through this

Allison Ink's avatar

Ah, humanity, in one of its most aversive forms. Low, base, unclean in almost every way. Yet all too real - on this page and in the world.

Excellent job, my friend. I look forward to more of what escapes your mind.

Cedar Jones's avatar

Thank you my friend. Thank you for being such an authentic supporter of the work, and for taking the time to read such

Allison Ink's avatar

It’s my pleasure. I hope your hike is breathtaking and exactly what you need right now. 🖤

Ani Beeler's avatar

Oh god, this makes me want to die (I promise this is a compliment), but I fear if I say that too close to this piece, it'll drag me in, and I will.

Cedar Jones's avatar

“This makes me want to die…” best compliment I’ve ever gotten. Also, sorry.

MA Knight's avatar

Christ

Cedar Jones's avatar

He’s forsaken this work.

MA Knight's avatar

Good!!!!

Nav 𓅯's avatar

You have a way with words. They perfectly describe the scene and in this case the scent. I can smell the ammonia mixed with sweat. I can feel the lumbering body searching for a snack.

You could describe garbage and turn it into a work of art.

Cedar Jones's avatar

God damn you are kind, my friend. Thank you. Thanks for bearing with the harsh material. It’s funny you mention garbage, I’m writing a novella about a garbage man.